November 30, 2004
Healthy Aging
Friends help just by being there
The results of an epidemiological study initiated after the World Trade Center tragedy are important. A year after Sept. 11, 2001, a team of researchers interviewed people who were living in the
immediate proximity of the Twin Towers. These individuals had experienced horrific trauma because of the events of that day, in some cases acquiring permanent physical disabilities. The research
team wanted to find out who coped well in this situation — and why. They hypothesized it might be older adults or more educated individuals who handled the aftermath more successfully —
possibly women rather than men.
This is what they found: People who managed themselves the most optimally in all facets of their lives were the ones who had strong social networks — a collection of readily available,
caring people (family, friends, acquaintances), people who would listen thoughtfully, allowing these survivors to share feelings and "get the sad out."
Social scientists tell us that having a strong network of friends and "the presence of a confidant" is a critical factor in healthy aging. These relationships nurture and energize us.
Having recently spent a lovely weekend with close friends, my husband and I returned refreshed and renewed, feeling more relaxed and connected with each other than we had in some time. I think I
know why.
We talked a lot. We discussed communication challenges, shared affections, how to problem-solve. They told us stories about what worked (and didn’t) during their 40 years of marriage. We
learned about ourselves by hearing about them. And in the process we laughed often, left concerns behind, indulged in what I now think of as a social rejuvenation.
There is an incredible power in friendship. My desire to know more is prompted by a book I’m reading, "The Blackberry Tea Club: Women in their Glory Years." It’s about many
things, but largely about how family and friends sustain a woman in her fifth decade who is lonely and experiencing personal challenge.
There’s a place in that book where the author, Barbara Herrick, raises the question that Oprah Winfrey (friend to all of us) originally asked. "What do you know for sure?" There
are the obvious things: "this body is the only one I’ll have," "our children deserve our best selves" and "anything can happen at any time." We also know that
"laughter is as necessary as bread," "what is loved loves back" and "we can’t do it alone, whatever it is."
We can’t do it alone. Research supports social networks as a significant component in overall well-being. In the Nurses Health Study, sponsored by the Harvard Medical School, a woman’s
social interactions are found to be a significant predictor of freedom from bodily pain and increased vitality throughout the aging process.
I’d like to be pain-free and full of vitality well into my 90s. It’s nice to know that outcome doesn’t necessarily have to come in pill form. I don’t need to increase the
length of my morning walk. I’ll just call up an old friend and arrange to meet for a cup of blackberry tea.
Sharon Johnson is an assistant professor in family and community development at OSU Extension and a member of the Senior Advisory Council. Reach her at s.johnson@oregonstate.edu.
