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September 8, 2002

Old Farmer’s Almanac may mangle the mind

By BILL VARBLE
Mail Tribune

The Old Farmer’s Almanac calls for a warm, wet winter in the Pacific Northwest. Winter will be milder than normal but with above-normal rainfall, especially in the southern Northwest, the Almanac says.

The magazine defines the Northwest as Washington, Oregon and Northern California down to a line a bit south of Eureka.

"There will be little or no snow outside of the higher elevations," the Almanac says, "with the best chances for widespread snow in mid-December, late February and early March. The coldest temperatures will occur in mid-November, late February and early March. The stormiest periods will be in early November, mid-December, early and mid-January and mid-February."

If you’re leery of long-range weather forecasts, how about a story on how to tell if somebody is lying? That’s here, too.

Published since 1792, the little yellow magazine ($4.99) with the trademark hole in the corner is a quirky mix of lawn and garden stuff, weather, history, trends, factoids and minutiae. For a look, visit www.almanac.com.

Here are homespun cures for common ailments: potatoes for splinters, cabbage for burns, an onion for insect bites, a hunk of beef for a bruise (just like those old movies!), oatmeal for itching.

If you don’t have any beef, put a pineapple on the bruise for an hour.

Here are fashion trends (the only rule this season is that there are no rules).

Here are hot collectibles (forget Barbie and Beanie Babies; go for those Uncle Sam banks that nod when you give them a penny).

Here are barnyard basics, the mystery of fainting goats, maddening mind-manglers.

A sample mangler will give you the idea: "Eric challenged Ray to take the letters of the expression ‘Nor do we’ and make them into one word. Ray surprised him with a quick answer, what was it?"

And in a sign that the times, they ain’t what they used to be, the venerable magazine includes among all the arthritis and psoriasis remedies an ad for the Xandrea Gold Edition Catalogue under a banner proclaiming SENSUAL PRODUCTS. The ad features a dishabille couple looking sensual indeed. It’s tucked in between a feature on willows and one on earwigs.

If you gave up on the mangler, here’s the answer: Ray made "nor do we" into "one word."

And some of the tip-offs that somebody’s lying include weird body language, sworn oaths, unverifiable facts, shifty eyes, verbal stumbles and absurd claims. Trust us.

Reach reporter Bill Varble at 776-4478 or e-mail bvarble@mailtribune.com




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